2012.....Almost Over!!

The end of 2012. I’ve been mentally writing and re-writing this blog post for about 9 months now. It has taken on many different identities over the past 9 months…..Good Riddance, 2012…….Thanksgiving and Blessings in 2012……2012: The Year of “It’s Always Something”……

One thing is for sure, 2012 has not been a normal year. It has been a year full of extreme ups and just as extreme downs. A year full of tears….both of happiness and joy and sorrow and pain. I’ve probably felt more like an adult in 2012 than I ever had before. And quite frankly, I wasn’t quite ready for that.

2012 held a brain cancer diagnosis, brain surgery, radiation and chemo for Dad, Jane’s failing health and death, a job loss for both Matt and myself, the Newtown, CT tragedy, a flea infestation, a leaky washing machine, stomach bugs, a revolving door of kindergarten teachers, expensive car repairs, and a dead possum. Quite honestly, I could go on and on.

But every time I find myself thinking about the negative, I can’t help but think of all the good 2012 had in it. All the blessings.  Access to some of the best medical facilities in the world.  No tumor reoccurrence for Dad. A trip to Disney World, that while wasn’t as originally planned, was still very magical. Both Matt and I finding new jobs with relative ease and even better, we really like our new positions. A successful first half of the kindergarten year for Will.  Avery adjusting to preschool sans Bubba with no issues. A new car. Money to pay a man to remove the dead possum. Quite honestly, I could go on and on.

Sometimes I wonder if I never allowed myself to appropriately grieve this year because I was so intently focused on being thankful and remembering my blessings and keeping a normal household and routine for the children and keeping my career intact so I could pay the bills. I honestly don’t know if the severity of the year has hit me yet.  I worry I am going to break down one day.

Really, it could be worse. People have endured more, lived with less, and you know what, they survived. The world kept turning. So I know I am blessed. Probably more than I deserve.

I’ve made new friends this year, lost old friends and found out just how strong existing friendships can be. I’ve seen first-hand just how selfish people can be and in a blink of an eye, seen how others would drop everything to do for someone else. Without the support system of Matt, family and friends, I know there is absolutely no way I could have gotten through this year. Whether it was frying up hot dogs at Will’s birthday party or the random mid-day text to see how the test results were…….it all meant the world to me.  

I feel like I need to be guarded with my hopes and dreams for 2013. You know, not expect too much. But if nothing else, I learned in 2012 that one can still find happiness amongst the darkest hour. We learned Disney is the most magical place on earth and we’re going back again this spring! I learned fleas do eventually go away and so does dead possum smell. I learned to hold on tight to those you love because you never know what will happen next.  I learned in 2012 that God never leaves your side.  Maybe that was my biggest blessing of the year: the growth in my relationship with God. 

For a long time, I truly have called this year “The Year of It’s Always Something.” I think I just stumbled upon the real theme for 2012: Blessings in Disguise.

In 2013, I want those blessings forefront in my life. This year's focus is family and simplicity. And just as I consider some family dear friends, there are several dear friends I consider family. I want to get back to the basics too. Get rid of the waste in my life....whether the clutter in my house or the clutter in my mind. Focus on what is important in this too short life.

We are so blessed to have good jobs, a roof over our heads and holiday weight to get off. We are blessed to hold hands with the one we love to tonight while jamming out with The Avett Brothers. We are blessed to have a church we love and every Sunday I am blown away with what the children get out of their programs.  We are blessed to have each other, even if for just one more day.

A few of my favorite pictures of the year.....

May 2013 bring love, faith and family to your lives like you have never experienced before.