I have a six year old

I have a six year old. I spent most of Friday focusing on him and his sister, racing around town making my last holiday preparations. I am a huge Internet news junkie but Friday I was on vacation from work and didn't check my phone. Or Twitter. Or Facebook. I was buying groceries. I was visiting with a dear, dear friend (who ironically is also a huge news junkie). I was buying a last minute, unplanned Nano bug thingy and having lunch (brunch) with its intended recipient. So I was at an elementary school literally an hour after it happened. Because I have a six year old.

I have a six year old who lights up my days but thankfully not my nights (because he is the most awesome sleeper in the land). Truth be told, I cry most mornings driving to work because I don't want to leave him and his little sister.  My heart is home with them but unfortunately my mortgage is with a bank. I know that drive will be a little harder in the morning. And that laptop hasn't been turned on all weekend long because my heavy heart needed to be fully devoted to them this weekend. Plus, he would have wanted a turn on the computer to watch NCSU sports highlight films. Because I have a NCSU fan of a six year old.

I have a six year old who enthusiastically read to his sister tonight while I made dinner. Every book, most of which he had "written" and illustrated himself at school, was met by some adoring compliment by his little best friend. Every "Bubba, you read SO good" or "My Bobby, how did you learn to do that?" brought more and more tears to my eyes until they were finally falling onto the pb&j sandwiches (don't judge, we had a HUGE Kanki lunch) I was making. How on earth would I have been able to tell her he was gone? Or vice versa. And while I can't remember exactly what happened next, I am sure it involved tackling, teasing, or maybe both. And then tears and screaming. Because I have a typical big brother six year old.

I have a six year old and as I was watching his friends sing in the children's choir at church today, I think that is when it finally hit me.  It was children just like them. Innocent. Full of hope and excitement for the holiday season. Probably rowdy and rambunctious, just like mine.  Our  good friend's little girl sang a solo and I just lost it. Because I have a six year old.

Now because I have a six year old, I am not naive. I know these 20 young kids were not the only children to die on Friday. Whether it was a tragic accident, a long battle with an illness, or any number of things, I know Heaven received many angels on Friday. Both big and small. When faced with danger, I only hope I am half as brave as the adults at Sandy Hook were. I am so thankful for all the adults in my children's lives. Because I have a six year old.

I had planned on recapping Matt's birthday on the blog today but somehow it didn't feel right. Ever since church this morning, I find myself repeating "I have a six year old." And what on this earth would I do with out him?

Right now I have to go move an Elf.

Because I have a six year old.